an excerpt…

Transmutation

reminiscent of something beautiful

I am falling

like light filtered through trees

almost feathering across your heart

when I reach you

it will only illuminate

a deeper violet flame 

skin to skin

we are shimmer and blaze

radiance

finally remembered

love & healing

connected before time

ever knew to be

 

The above is an excerpt from my current creative project, in the making since February of this year. I have no time table as to when it will be complete, as inspiration comes delivered in increments of divine timing.

I am constantly being tested and learning to be giving, and receptive to self-love, unconditional love, awareness, and patience…

 

 

 

Advertisements

entering the void…

I pulled aside the curtain
for a quiet moment
just to take in the silence
the kind rising inside midnight
and so true to its design
the dark blue spreads across my chest
I could feel stillness and obscurity
appreciating that no one disturbs it
I want to slip away
so effortlessly like
cool silk slips across 
warm skin…
i image you next to me
feeling as that…
and I fade further into 
black nothingness

a concerning matter…

it is difficult to not want 
certain ways to be
if you would like 
ways to be a certain way

there are moments she’s slinking
into dark pockets
suffocated by feelings of neglect

and she is asking herself
for the rest of her years
is she willing to be
be placed as someone’s
never a priority
or tenth 
or fourth
or second best

and what is worse…?

that…?

or being
nobody’s somebody?

bold…

I feel this bold energy
like I could exist to text you 
and tell you to fuck off
as you come towards me
why bother
why inject me with desire
if never comes
then how will I breathe
I feel this bold energy
like I could pack my perfume
favorite jeans & sweater
bleed my golden heart out into your palm
and fly away to a different year
Maybe I would exist
in younger skin 
leave all the boys with silent hard-ons
Or maybe you wouldn’t be hard for anyone else just only hard for me
I feel this bold energy
like who the Fuck cares 
dark blue is so good at coursing my veins
maybe I’ll just fade away in silence
and you can kiss all the pretty lipstick lips
and think of my nude swollen truth against your mouth

I feel this bold energy…

ya… bold

Like…fuck you!

 

the white glow of her screen…

life and death
an existing dissonance
a prop 
a joke 
in one’s own life 
reading unseen words
with a drugged effect
just a stupid woman trying to fit 
in arms built for smaller bodies
& sharper minds
where clearly she doesnt exist
at 12:47 am 
Or 2:29 am 
nor 3am
and all the hours inbetween
reject me too
I thought I knew differently
but fresh faces and cute laughter
get ahead in the game of love
I am too old for film
and will just end up on
the cutting room floor


    september again…

    The prarie winds are blowing again
    let me take to them
    and disappear into
    another moment
    one that is softer
    and gladden for my presence
    I am weary
    as September slips around my chest
    why does it haunt me
    drop me to my knees
    steal my breath
    and leave me breaking
    Will I ever find peace in aloneness
    will I only ever be lonely
    the winds leave me behind
    tracing the lines of age on my skin
    like fineline fractures of old procelain
    I need a miracle I hear my heart whisper
    as I watch possiblity get swept away

    being…

    I need not to think

     but just rest in knowing this moment

     for the past is no longer

    and the future yet to be

    I do not need to think

    I may rest in this knowing of now

    because to think is to develop expectation

    and expectation is to focus on the non exisiting

    ( both past and future)

    and to live in the past or the future

    is not opening

    is not flowering

    is not spreading seeds

    nor perfume

    in the present moment

    and to not be in the moment of now

    is limiting

    is suppression

    is not breathing pure existence

    but rather weighted in illusion

    I need not to think

    but to only be