rain…

I can’t change

what storms have come to pass

what has fallen 

spilled among the roads

I look down

staring at the mess of me

always slipping on wet pavement 

full of flooded pot holes 

of water

of blood

of acidic blend

welled inside the deep of my being

I can’t stop

ever from falling

my weathered beaten heart cries…

I am like rain

soft mist

continuous drizzle

torrential downpour

hurricane…

if only

mercy fell on me 

like I fall

as rain

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unbalanced love?

i see a pattern

it is a maze of zigs

maybe a zag or two

but I think that’s the issue

my pattern is unbalanced

too one-sided

and the heaviness of tilting scales

becomes a burden

Im tethered to this living thing

inside me

which is love…

how am I suppose to stop?

how do you stop bleeding?

how do you stop the very nature of

yourself?

why should I want to…

but yet

I am unbalanced

and the weight of the water

is drowning me

it is to heavy to carry

too large to wrap my arms around

to deep a crevasse to climb from 

I am starting to doubt myself

wondering what is wrong with me

maybe I don’t know about love

after all 

and I feel

everything I am inside me 

is dying

is emptying

I can’t make anyone love me

I can’t force their hand

I can only hope that I understand

the  truth of the truest love

Only hope tha I won’t 

remain unbalanced

Only hope I won’t die

still unloved…

it must just be me…

Perhaps I have gone mad

adrift in an sea of illusion

a watery dream

reflecting the shimmer of stars

and the bold light of a waxing moon

I must be in denial 

of an electrical connection 

I must just be

my own electric eel

a remnant left over from 

my fresh water birth 

did my heart rebel

charge its impulsivity

I must be my own conductor

walking conjecture of 

a raging fire

pouring flammable fluid

on her own sea of fire

I died too…

Their pats on the shoulderI still hate being patted there

kiss me there yes…

but don’t pat…
Pat…hmmm…ironic

that’s what they all

called her

I called her “Mom”

I long to touch her raven

hair.. I wish I had inherited

I crave her hug

especially in these

dark lonely hours

hanging silence

always this “F-ing” silence
they meant well enough

I suppose

what else could they say

as we buried her…

they didn’t know

didn’t realize 

my gasping of breath

or hear the shattering

of my already 

 fragile young heart

how could they

even understand 

they could never see

that I too

died that day!
also posted on Twitter 

#ashverse prompt: I died that day

@writingofM

dancing beauty

she fished around
in the bottom of her soulremembering…

en pointe

her gentle movement 

in the deep arch of her foot

as it turned into fluidity

& an extension of graceful beauty 

her arms followed suite

bending lightly to surround her chest

a single tendril of hair

fell upon her cheek

as her head began to bow 

she closing her dance

a silent pause

to breathe in the moment…

I remember me then

a gentle dancer

the giggling beauty I once was

a heart almost pure

barely scarred

I can still feel the barre

grasping with lithe fingers

& the dreams of soaring 

across the stage that filled

my mind as I pliéd upon

blonde wood…

I wipe the single tear as it falls 

from my dark lashes

and tuck it away in my soul…

yet another dream unlived
also posted on twitter:

#ashverse 

prompt: giggling beauty

@writingofM

admission…

There is no gameplay here

one would need weapons

calculating thoughts

strategic planning

territories to attack

fire

destruction

shell shock

and…death

Yet

I am here 

existing in the ethers 

drifting in twilight

lost in sunsets

found in the dawning of the days

deep in the witching hour

And silenced with 3:00 am wake ups

I only ever armed 

with my heart

full of flames & fragility 

deeply held sentiments

unbounded 

with abandon…

my pen is no weapon

it is not a trickster 

Nor destroyer

rather she is my life’s breath 

and only knows 

to release truth & beauty

secrets & desires

sometimes boldly & other times quietly

gently she lays in rest

in open viewing

or secluded retreat

she

I 

am living & breathing

and if I give you love of me

there is no other purpose

but to simply feel and be love

even if nothing’s returned

I still sweep the expanse

universally 

unashamedly 

always armed with love

and I…am constant matter

breathing in 

sensuously and stunningly 

exhaling 

I am 

wrapped in fire

and an exposed ocean

there is no gameplay here

amidst love 

& devastation 

salt falling into the water

Under water 

She possesses more pliability 

a swirling dreamlike state

floating serenely 

gently

like salt falling into water

the weight of it 

surrounding her form

there is elegance

in the movements of her

unlike in any other place

she only graceful 

when she dives so naturally 

into his sea

his salt

her preservative

in harsh reality 

So nightly she sinks into 

the warm place where

he could be seen

Her nictitating membrane 

intact from the other lifetime

when their seas collided

sinking their city into the ocean…

her haw allows her to dive without 

injury to her eyes

she lingers amongst

the thick nest of seaweed

covering her from his view

she can feel the lamina

dancing between her thighs

it’s holdfast on her unrelenting

she remembering the last time

he touched her 

she closes her eyes for a mere minute

seemingly an eternity where he is

concerned 

she lets it play and tickle 

lap at her soft pale skin

with knowledge that 

he would find himself 

doing the same

if only he could remember her

the saltwater begins to stir

her fingers lithe

drifting through  

the warm waters

with deep longing

and a haunting ache

she remembers every 

touch of his lips 

on the nape of her neck

& the whispers caught

in the wildflower fields 

of her loose hair

she blushes a passionate pink

fragrant thoughts 

then come to mind

of the days laying naked

desirous in a heated embrace

hidden in secret meadows

 of their long ago summer

the thought of such intimacy

makes her weep 

her tears

fall like salt in the water

and in that moment

she realizes her gentle love 

for him will never dissipate

even if the sun should moved closer to 

their earth and evaporate

all the oceans of her sorrows

her love would remain true

she knew it was time to surface

the temperature

of the water cooling

her air beginning to escape her lungs 

she turns her sea blue eyes

towards him one last time

watching him 

swim peacfully afar

drifting in the current

that keeps him safe

underneath the waves

far from her

she will return

again and again

as she is unable to stay 

completely away

and as the sun sets

tomorrow 

she will dive once more 

into his sea of words and tears

hoping that each time

he will remember

and that she will be found

once again

hidden among their 

haunting beauty 

Collision…

there only remains this silence

i wonder of such words he would speak 

if any would escape

as I stood bare in front of him

I wouldn’t need to utter a sound

although just the thought of his touch

carries this primal moan

deep from within

I could not hide from him

my lips hold infinite stories of us

each lifetime our connection 

grows stronger

I would glance to his hands 

they carry our universe

holding the weight of our stars

his moon

my sun

his water 

my fire

his arms are shaped to wrap my form

smoothing rough edges

holding me together

i would press against his chest 

his heart

my hearth

warmth radiates our blood

Pulse…Pulse…Pulse…

I hear our love 

Beating

On the inside of him

I would watch his mouth

as it lays unspoken 

yet I am familiar of its movements

It holds the most delicate touch

or a devastating annihilation of  heat

and then…

as we come before one another

we would not remain black and white

rather we would blend

morph into iridescent brilliance

Light spilling from our eyes

Magnetic fit

As we collide