barely in time…

She sits in the car in her drive way
knowing what awaits her just a few 
short steps to her left. The car is quiet with the windows rolled up. She’s taking a few moments to gather herself together before the busyness of the evening takes over. The weather is warm today 92° but the temperature inside the vehicle slowly rises to over a 100°. Any remnants of air conditioning in the last few minutes has hurriedly leaked into the unknown. It is getting warmer she sighs, wondering what the hell to do now. The air leaving her lungs is just as stale as the air inside the car left to inhale. With each breath it gets harder to breathe. How long can she remain as this, in here, before she starts to struggle…before panic sets in and rises in her throat. She begins to feel the start of panic for air. She grabs for the handle but it wont open. The keys left in the ignition still prevents the doors from unlocking. She feels the bloodrush…the flight or fight mode switched in her brain. She wants to run, to open the door,  to flee, to feel the fresh air fill her lungs but she doesnt fumble or unlock the door,  or scramble to pull the keys out the ignition. She swallows the panic. Feels herself begin to numb. Knows that it wouldnt take any effort to lie the seat back and close her eyes. To take small little breaths until she feels sleepy.  She inhales another gulp of stale air, it is hot and thick, suffocating. Her lungs screaming for cold air but she doesn’t fight the fear. She waits for it to subside.  
She thinks how easy it would be to fall asleep. It wouldn’t take much to stop her already weakened heart. No air stops the lungs, stops the heart, stops the brain, stops her living. It would be less painful to lie here sleepily than to keep breathing if it means her world remains stagnant as it has remained. To keep feeling unloved and undesired, to keep suffering loss. Another deep breath of hot stale air and the panic begins to rise again as she struggles to breathe. How long can she remain here she thinks as her lungs scream for more…

then her phone dings…

Jerks her out of her trance…

barely in time! 


9 thoughts on “barely in time…

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