Writing madness on the affect of red…tainted

I let it rule and for most 
they find it quite exhausting 
yet how do I unzip this soul
that chose this heart to carry 
I am sorry my heart
is not inclined to follow rules
rather swings wildly 
beautifully grotesque 
sometimes a desaturating black hole sucking lifesblood, bending in unimaginative directions
I am sorry my heart steals exponential thoughts and rational data from my mind
& plants arias under thin red veils tucked behind skin & bone within my ribcage
I am sorry I’m a source of stress & strain that you must explain to again &again your perfected way & private mechanisms
I am sorry I am stench and gutter mud masked poison of sweet roses & thorns
smothering
hindering 
aching
yet what do I do here
I, cracked vessel pouring water&stars asking to be spared parched silent dark
I  write bleeding madness on the affect of red, nothing rational threaded inside this webbed chest…

inside a tainted mess
 

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