When did I start placing expectations on people? The kind that they can’t even begin to meet! It’s not that they are incapable, it is more like they’re incapable to meet them with me.
I have helped create this chaotic environment and while no heart deserves to be destroyed, I have helped them all shatter mine.
This truth of self has me ashamed and guilt ridden for not being more discerning and disciplined. For being wild and insecure rather than locked tight and confident!
I do envy those stone cold bitches that say…No! fuck off! And keep stepping up and producing the “winner” mentality. I guess you have to be wanted and exposed to being beautiful and desired enough times to build that resolve and confidence!
His truth hurt me more than he will ever know. Because there is goodbye all over and inbetween every line ever written. I suppose all along I knew it deep inside.
I am so sorry I am never really good at silence or goodbyes. You would think the amount of exposure I have had to it, in my lifetime would have hardened me… yet I drown every fucking time!
He was right…
I am drowing!