Whatever these words are worth…

When did I start placing expectations on people? The kind that they can’t even begin to meet! It’s not that they are incapable, it is more like they’re incapable to meet them with me.

I have helped create this chaotic environment and while no heart deserves to be destroyed, I have helped them all shatter mine. 

This truth of self has me ashamed and guilt ridden for not being more discerning and disciplined. For being wild and insecure rather than locked tight and confident! 

I do envy those stone cold bitches that say…No! fuck off!  And keep stepping up and producing the “winner” mentality. I guess you have to be wanted and exposed to being beautiful and desired enough times to build that resolve and confidence!

His truth hurt me more than he will ever know. Because there is goodbye all over and inbetween every line ever written. I suppose all along I knew it deep inside. 

I am so sorry I am never really good at silence or goodbyes. You would think the amount of exposure I have had to it, in my lifetime would have hardened me… yet I drown every fucking time! 

He was right…

I am drowing! 

6 thoughts on “Whatever these words are worth…

  1. M … you are far far too hard on yourself … you can swim … and always will … and by the way a man is rarely right …especially when it comes to a woman and her needs … E


  2. You are more then what you feel
    No one can say who you are
    No other person can define you
    No body has the right to judge you
    99% man don’t know anything about woman
    Because they tend to understand
    Woman can never be understood
    She is to be felt and embraced
    She is needed to be loved
    When she is cared with love
    Only then can man feel her
    But never understand her
    See that you are loved

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am so sorry you are feeling pain and hurt. You are worthy of love and caring. Take care of yourself first my dear. I understand your sadness and pain but it’s better than being a cold bitch. You will get through this and come our better and stronger.

    Sending you a warm embrace and love.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sweet M: I thank God that you are not one of the “winners” you described. I see you as being complete in every way. The ones you describe are not complete, lacking your heart, lacking your feelings, lacking your wisdom, lacking your empathy, lacking your experiences, lacking all that makes you who you are. I would not trade you for anything.

    Liked by 1 person

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