your thinking…

Did you forget so easily 
stay your distance for fear
or for unwanting 
and what do you think of me
I am uncertain of you
of your viewing 
we are without
certain experiences
and to me 
that is the most 
loneliest moment 
when I think of you
without me

eventually unread…

I keep wondering how long
I can continue
being unimportant 
why settle
why put myself in harms way
is it belief I don’t deserve better
or do I enter open doors 
with optimism expecting it 
will be different everytime
It is not though
I sit in my pool of words and ink
dripping onto pages eventually

…of this life

There still are so many moments
I know nothing of this life…
to be looked upon
as though no other exists
or tenderly cherished
or written of poetically 
I don’t know what it’s like to lay
my head upon a chest
and hear a heart beating 
only for me
the rise & fall of lungs
sounds of  something precious 
sounds of a thousand years breathing
I want to feel that sound
know that kind of ancient love
before I die in this life


I am in an ending 
that is at an edge
of a beginning
what I have been living 
is changing 
and where I am going
remains to be seen 
I am in a holding pattern 
On the runway
unable to lift off
or return
I am learning patience 
but fear immobility 
will stiffen my joints
my wings ache tostretch 
but my wrist bound to familiarity
time creeps
and he so good 
good at deflection 
an excuse to hide
from the truth
I dont how to do this 
any longer…
without ways to break free