please stop, I say to me, stop harming yourself…(sort of a self pep talk)

I am starting to change
transform
yet here I sit
doing the same things as before
It’s not comfortable
but it is familiar
these same choices
even though made reluctantly
they keep me from stretching myself
from growing
from living
from potentially putting
myself in harms way
yet, if I keep swimming
in this familiar pool
all I will end up doing
in the coming
seconds
minutes
hours
days
months
years
is drown here in the same shallows 
in the same way as always before 
and that somehow is more frightening than stepping into the ocean 
of the unknown
do I really want to wake up
20 years from now
as this ode to beauty’s death?
so I won’t beat myself up
tonight or tomorrow
I am through harming my own soul
I’m aware now of what
beauty you breathed into me 
No longer am I a sleeper
I’ll take that next step…
Perhaps you’ll be there

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15 thoughts on “please stop, I say to me, stop harming yourself…(sort of a self pep talk)

  1. The last line seals it! Brilliant pep talk and that adorable hopeful thought at the end.
    I’ve kept this mantra for a while “never let hope die”. she’s painful but hope is worth it.
    Oh just so I’m clear hope isn’t a woman i just figure a little personification could be fun 😄

    Liked by 1 person

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