once existing…

distance stars

where my heart lays in midnight

halcyon light so far off

once stealing my breath

where I fell

unknown and beating

once again

here I am

this faltering voice

laying haunted in silent dust

where erasure begins..

 I  existed

 founded

 loved once

 

 

rough…

 

lines feathered and muted

rough art inside me anymore

uncertainty blankets my heart

I don’t really fucking care anymore (I try to convince myself)

running sounds sane

yet I won’t escape

I’ve tried to exhale

waiting to be delivered from

every thought and feeling…

yes

no

I feel

I don’t

I don’t fucking care (silence is convincing me)

leave

love

lie

wtf ever

 

 

 

 

 

cut…

it is moments as these

I am falling further away

felled pile of ruins

my chest caves and my heart unstiches itself

every stretch mark across my womb aches

a reminder of love carried

yet emptied is the state of me

when am I not failing

when will I become worthwhile

long is my life still to live

and far too long to be nothing beautifully measured

  only ever cut by everyone

deadly…

expectations;

rather you didn’t settle here

you only keep me far from abundance

my opened heart; understands

far beyond earthly limitations

deadly this mind;

3D prisoner