an unraveling and eating dust of dying light

I see it now

colors of evidence

screaming goodbye

I am slit and fading

drained

quickly becoming a no-thing

everything I feel

I can’t speak

there is no language

designed of this world

to speak of me

I am unraveling

a pile of disheveled threads

and slip into death

another pointed star

embedded in my heart

a burden bleeding

staring at the edge of love

eating dust of my dying light

settling in cracks

and the jackals pace…

smelling my decay

waiting for my last breath

 

 

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a starlit hope…

I don’t want to return
to those seconds where I died
it is not the scene of a pretty flower wiliting
rather a self-massacre
a dissection of  heart and mind and soul
I drowned in my own pooled blood
it was warm for a  few minutes
as if relief escaped the wound
I so thick-layered with darkness
I could only reach out into the emptiness
I don’t need to return to that lifetime
I just never want to forget death
for rebirth follows
long ago in that darkness
a star shone its message
and my heart still yearns
for its lighted hope

rough…

 

lines feathered and muted

rough art inside me anymore

uncertainty blankets my heart

I don’t really fucking care anymore (I try to convince myself)

running sounds sane

yet I won’t escape

I’ve tried to exhale

waiting to be delivered from

every thought and feeling…

yes

no

I feel

I don’t

I don’t fucking care (silence is convincing me)

leave

love

lie

wtf ever