once existing…

distance stars

where my heart lays in midnight

halcyon light so far off

once stealing my breath

where I fell

unknown and beating

once again

here I am

this faltering voice

laying haunted in silent dust

where erasure begins..

 I  existed

 founded

 loved once

 

 

deadly…

expectations;

rather you didn’t settle here

you only keep me far from abundance

my opened heart; understands

far beyond earthly limitations

deadly this mind;

3D prisoner

 

 

a certain keeping…

why should she resist

resonating within her heart

he is risk luring her to leap

yet, hesitation borders the edge

where silence pulls her mind

want & ache propel her veins

dread is not her cloak

nor fear her religion

only he, a lighted sky; aflame

revolution of wildfire storms

as love touches the boundary of skin

beautiful scars lay permenant underneath

blood rushes

breath flows

earth consistenly shifts

sensuous years left spinning; still unknown

time an ever-revolving mystery

and our love…

a certain keeping

slipping us into the deep

we, a whisper away

 

 

 

Violence & Violet of my Veins…

I let it all fall away

this aged untruth

brittle & cracked 

little bits & pieces blow away

 in every gust of your air

why should I awaken at this time

surrounded 

in unexplainable phenomena 

is any reason necessary…

I must be unafraid

an opened heart

dreaming light

breathing ageless memories

and find you are

the violence and violet

 of my veins

 

years…

dark slips through my fingertips

sweetly released

I let go all these melancholy years

unveiled is undeniable love

deeply formed living inside my chest

every breath of you is recorded

and as each petal lives their lifespan

I too, lay gentle in bloom

unfolding you inbetween every layer

 many moments I feel unequipped

with pieces of words caught in my throat

yet, no matter

for you will understand

everything I am

is woven in a glance

a hesitant breath

an unresistant kiss…

where our years and years cleave 

remembering our lips 

aflame

 

 

 

in the midst of resting…

There is something healing about stepping back, stepping away, looking in another direction, laying down the heavy baggage and resting. I suppose I am still in the midst of such a respite. It has been, and still is emotionally tumultous but I wouldn’t change a thing! I know it is for my greatest good. I recognize the synchronicities, feel the abundance welling within…I know it leads to everything good and just, and is divinely guided.

I’m not haunted. I’m no longer running from nor chasing ghosts. I’m setting them free! Yet, I will never forget the beauty of each shiver, every lick of the whip, every whisper of deeply held pain! I ask that it stays cleaved to me so that I might never forget, to remember, to understand what others go through, to give my experience and my pain a voice, and to say to those in similar territories…”I know!” “I understand!” “I feel you!””I see you!”

How can I explain this journey? The path only illuminated by faith! The details unbelievable…unexplainable! To tell my truth, this unfathomable truth will come if only I never resist. The words will come when they are ready. I know my heart is healing, and it is a living, breathing, beautiful entity to carry within my chest. And my soul? Oh my ancient beautiful soul…”I know!” “I understand!” “I feel you!” “I see you!”

 

inner knowing…

you can leave the space of me

burn every memory of us

take back every word you ever spoke

every word you ever wrote

cut me from your flesh

bleed me from your veins

steal your breath from my lungs

untether your heart from mine

there is nothing new my soul has not experience

my mind may not remember every life

but I remain in this inner knowing

in the deepest of me

swarming in my innermost part

that I have loved you in this life

and every other…

your rare and mystical beauty

has never escaped me

*for you darling

 

F. D. I. L .Y…

one day you will understand

until then I’ll just drown in music

let my soul float away

slip away

become a cast away

from the rest of the world

in tiny little increments

inbetween the flittering voices and the base beats

its peeling away the dirt

  sweet escape from the grime

 from the breathing in of normalcy…

 

Fuck

Darling

I love you…

 

gold riot…

I am gold dust anymore

dancing within the wind

wild and uncaring

catch my eyes shining

where only your storm remains

my lips no longer speak

of temptutous devils

their beautiful words

long murdered inside me

i know now

i know dark and light

smoked holes and divine temples

in far away places

my fingers tracing a riot and eternity

and you founded in every space

every line and curve

no other will do

I know now

I know

I know

believe

here I am

and you

 still existing

*For you darling