gold riot…

I am gold dust anymore

dancing within the wind

wild and uncaring

catch my eyes shining

where only your storm remains

my lips no longer speak

of temptutous devils

their beautiful words

long murdered inside me

i know now

i know dark and light

smoked holes and divine temples

in far away places

my fingers tracing a riot and eternity

and you founded in every space

every line and curve

no other will do

I know now

I know

I know


here I am

and you

 still existing

*For you darling





a beautiful soul…

There is this soul
who is beautiful air
a gentle teacher
a willing student 
whom has shown 
love and kindness 
my soul is filling 
because of his pathway
his belief
his beauty 
his pain
his name…

I am grateful


of random thoughts…

I know we get caught up  in the the tangle of what we don’t have, feeling as if something is missing, so much so we can’t even begin to see what’s truly beautiful around us.

We forget to look and be grateful, hardly able to remember the definition of positivity. Forgetting that what we think we perceive, what we precive comes to be.
I am so guilty of this inclination to self loathe, to be drowning in negative thoughts, which leads to negative circumstance. Yet I don’t remain there. 

I am a constant student of self, learning to cope with theses thoughts that have plagued me from when I can first remember…around age five. 

Thank goodness I have a few people full of optimism and love and support in my immediate world. And yes, often I feel very much alone and unloved. Although I have such love for them. Without them I may have drowned a thousand times. 

I know my wordpress has such dark self hating matter but please know if it is written on a page, it is released, exposed, it is no longer hiding in the deep recess of my being. For me it is healing to uncover the dark. 

This blog is my medium for that healing ritual. It is the way of me and I am ever evolving, ever breathing, some moments beautiful and elegant, and other moments slipping deep into the darkest of ache. 

Remember though, I am…far more full of love, Am loved, am surrounded by love and I am love itself…

stay or leave…read or don’t…Be a part of my life or not…yet I will have loved you regardless. 
I have had lived through some very dark and rough circumstances and I am still here standing, full of love for humanity, even in our depravity we are worthy of love, have the ability to love, are love!

Remember this darlings


waterfall post…I think my heart hurts my head; or is it reverse 

I have it in me to tell you
all the things of why I am inferior 
its easy…as if breathing 
a biological function 
this breed of mediocre 
the type living right at the edge of 
she’s not enough to fight for 
it is why you will leave
they all leave
I fade from them easily 
their eyes of heart closing
yet vivid in mine they 
remain here
my hive 
my hexagon 
weaving of my womb
I am many shades of amber
cultivated by the romance languages
yet have landed in this life 
in this…this prairie 
the prairie has killed
mountains and sea
the ones born of me
paint plain my forest glen
left emptied a lesser
nest of moss to rest 
I am ancient roots of 
fallen stars grounded 
cursed a millennium or more  
my light less potential 
a light less than beautiful enough
to tether you to the branches of me
I have many reasons to tell you the
whys of why I am inferior
dont know any other way to describe me
you already observant of my unappeal
You’ll fade me from you
and stay the sky
before we even meet
seep from trees
lack salt the seas
light capturing the dark
dark ingesting light
am I the less; you 
the timeless 
in anymore