rough…

 

lines feathered and muted

rough art inside me anymore

uncertainty blankets my heart

I don’t really fucking care anymore (I try to convince myself)

running sounds sane

yet I won’t escape

I’ve tried to exhale

waiting to be delivered from

every thought and feeling…

yes

no

I feel

I don’t

I don’t fucking care (silence is convincing me)

leave

love

lie

wtf ever

 

 

 

 

 

deadly…

expectations;

rather you didn’t settle here

you only keep me far from abundance

my opened heart; understands

far beyond earthly limitations

deadly this mind;

3D prisoner

 

 

turn from…alee of him

the site of his ice blue eyes sweeps over me

where did he well up from inside

I buried him a long ago

and why now

what triggered him in my chest

in my head

my mind feels electric

I sit here remembering life in those eyes

as he drifts across memory

everything he knew of me held in that one glance

we knew without knowing all those years ago

and in this second I still feel him breathe

as if he is near

yet, muscle memory will know

to tuck him away

turn from him

alee of him

he fades to black

his smoke dissipates

he never came

 

heart like this…heavy  love

Many hours 
have I been
as this 
coagulated 
gummed 
trying to lift my love
out of the slurry 
of the deeper well
I have perfected 
eviceration
many written blood moons
phases of a heart like this
I lay open altered
sacrificial 
slabbed and stuck
ruptured
wildfire seeping through
ripped scars
my blood runs
a long trail
of heavy love

til death steals…

cannot fathom such touch anymore
its meaning slit and deleted 
gone 
dissipated
desire
in the h0urs, days, months
lost track 
what is like anymore
in between the heat of thighs
moans and sighs loitering no longer
her youth stolen
her prime unwanted 
do they find pleasure in wasting her
no understanding of their inner working 
perhaps she has known all along
the poetry of being used
tossed aside
wasted 
unwanted
unloved
so offensive is she? deserving?
and yet she burns evermore
burn baby burn
Til death upon death 
steals this soul’s fire 

I have forgotten…

I have forgotten this thing
this thing called breathing
what it’s like to lay
effortless
easy
unaware 
unaffected…

I have fogotten this thing
this thing called comfort 
what its like to be wrapped
safely tucked in
warm
weatherproofed
protected…

I have forgotten this thing
this thing called forgetting
forgetting to forget
your color
your beauty
your reflection
sound of every word you’ve written…

I have forgotten this thing
this thing called L (cursor blinking)

no! I haven’t forgotten
*erases that line

I don’t know this thing
this thing called

…LOVE…