sheer tranquility of fire…

entirely impossible
to mask 
this deeper part
heavily veiled
yet sheer
tranquility of fire

daughter of iniquity
no amout of color
bleaches
this stain of 
dark red flames

I confess
more of me 
saturated
killer red
the world
doesn’t see

do you…

collide 
into this 
willacy
this sensual 
backbone
of provisional
sin

I am no other way
comparable 
visit without 
self limitations  
or guilty
infliction
of denial

under this skin
no tormenting game
nor beautiful lie
substantance to not waste
a giver; intentional breath
undeniablely
fragile in
love and life
 

Advertisements

she…deletable¬†

comes striking
erotically wicked
be their sensuous beings
kissing delirium
deliveries ever pressed
against her heart
senseless creature
she be 
lays pages
burning useless flames
until charred paper remains
swept up 
tossed to the winds 
apparitions fade away
only ever erasable 
ever deletable
she to them be 
so too
their claim
to love

wtf this space is..

this space
I slip into 
I hate me 
I never 
realize it 
until it too late
Until I’m 
black and blue
tossed crumpled paper
plain (pain) sheeted 
blank
except scorched mark 
a hint of wood scent in the air
my sad attempt 
at being fire
trying to emit 
light and warmth 
this place 
this space
under water
Muted 
Blurred 
struggling for breath
but I’m left
emptying any
surviving substance 
soon I’ll be
nothing
again
just flash of air on 
flesh
an explosion 
that traveled
so far from the deep
hardly an impact
a tiny bubble on the surface
insignificant blip

shhh don’t make a sound
just a brush off of fingers 
a dismissable speck 
a-nothing-of-a-fleeting-meanwhile-until-another-becomes-more-than-my-has-been-if-ever-I’ve-been-existence
which in truth
is never difficult
I’ll sway with 
the hot breeze
hoping it will
carry me
some place
I’m not me
not in this skin
not in this mind
not in this soul
….where there are
future updates

unafraid 

this collage…

Did the scent of our love linger long 
cupped in your palm
I remember that day
you flipped your handover
that’s when I fell
broken
shattered
littered the floor 
with diamonds from my eyes
that once held you
You could have swallowed me
tucked me safely away
I could still be the thrum in your veins
but you couldn’t…
am I in your memory or
just outside of it
a cast off into the pyre
perhaps I am scales over your eyes
you feel my roughness
a little bit of jaggedness 
gnawing your fingertips 
maybe I haunt you
stir the sea of togetherness 
your ghostwriter on your tongue 
embedded in your pen 
should I toss a coin in the fountain
make a wish upon a blue moon
would that cast a spell 
that I might awaken in you again
Or candles, should I ignite
one
ten
a thousand
Lay the lightness
of my body across your alter
offer my heart a sacrifice
bleed beguiling
black magic perennials 
lining out my grave
No I don’t want eternity without you
but if you could 
give me one more second
another moment
gaze into my eyes
keep your hand reaching
teach me to kneel proper 
take to my wrist as that of perfume 
inhale me deep
wipe me from your lips
savor the last tear drop
strip me of something 
whatever it was you found stained 
so incomplete 
you couldn’t taste all of me
or didn’t bother to gather my words 
pooling in the shallows
you looked away in the silver glow 
touching sands 
slipping through your fingers
in the ebbing hours
this heavy door won’t budge
take your time to open it
or better yet filleted me 
so your fingers can know
my guttural moans
as you steal the marrow of me
rain anymore is slanted
comes at me sideways
or am I just tilted
off kilter
imbalanced
make-believe figures 
my pinks to your blues
in a twisted scene of life 
there’s detours
are we distilled 
perhaps we’re sunrise
early morning light and 
you forgot to flip the switch on
Just maybe…
…perhaps I am dead of winter 
blood stained snow…numbed
or red cherry blossoms spring
bluebird song with a broken heart
or I am abandoned in the summer breeze
golden silence with chipped
pretty orchid nail polish 
maybe I have ran out of words
empty of the feels
or I am just beginning to mourn 
or no longer anything 
or perhaps…
I’m this collage of before and after
yet still in the present of everything you ever needed 

not yet dead…

her strength felt weakened 
hidden in an erect plastic smile
she’s still standing yet
(her heart sinks)
after everything life has dealt her
after all her starts and stops
losses and pain
brokenness and self-destruction
after a parent’s death 
marriages and divorce
abuse and rape
financial ruin
failure
after failure 
and failures

and more failures 
roughness of naturalchildbirth

questionable is her mothering 
neverending her womanhood
her weak flesh 
her darkness cleaved
of all those 
she loves 
loved
of those who left
depleted her
held her down in doubt
amid uncertainty
doused her in humiliation 
sowed seeds of
looming sadness 
after all that
all the skinning
the killing
fragmented matter she is left
just wrap her in linen
set her to flames 
maybe then she’ll 
finally be a beautiful pyre
burned to a pile of ash 
dying in death
stilled in the sun
perhaps she may rise
changed
her strength not hidden
but she being her own strength
the breath of her testament 
naked battle scars
evidence
her pen mighty
her savior
her words 
falling as they may
may rise to live
Warrioress ‘ existence
sing her battle cry
(rise)
her soul
…not yet dead

words rest…fire again

words rest
after the fire 
hardens their form
representing
the human condition;
breakable clay
Fallibility…
nothing unknown
since the age of reasoning
and in truth I err
I am flawed
saturated
portions I pour
words
to burn
to rest
fold into
soaking in tears
only to start
a fire once again
…and 
again

of fire and water…

There’s this color
I avoided my whole life
it seem to be everyone’s favorite
yet for years I wasn’t 
attracted to it
I never saw the appeal 
it was too light
too spring
too typical
maybe I thought I was odd 
never falling into
the “like it” category
maybe “normal” was
way too harsh
I was surrounded
by this normal color
a general blue 
yet I was drowning in fire
shades and shades of red
dark and bloody
warm and poignant 
low lying
brightly aflame
and I burned and burned 
but time began to erase me
I faded
damage changed my pallor
and I was no longer red
and became worse than the 
normality of blue
I was gray days
which turned into months
which turned into years…
something happened though
after years of living shut tight
my flames as ever long veiled 
hues of me hidden under clouds
although red was still deep in me 
I began to churn and groan
clutching blue waves of a sea
I stretch and sprialed 
surfed with my
perception wide open 
I could feel me 
the rise of flame 
the spray of salt
from the deepest parts of me
I spilled out 
poured ink
waterfalling
drowned in an ocean
died inside midnight
drank in the sophisticate
bathed in the wildest of these
embraced the storm 
fought the sky
tasted the river
choked on the prettiest of poetry
and within the reservoir of me
this ebb and flow of 
wounding shades
this found substance of 
torrential rain & exposed flames
I am…
weaving spells
kissing anarchy 
bleeding  ink
of heaven & hell
and clearly I see
I am…
everything of both
…fire and water 

Current mood…

Sometimes you just want to scream “F” off world! And if you don’t understand this desire or ache or troublesome way then you probably shouldn’t be reading a thing I’ve written…oh and “f” off, you and your judgment!

(1)

Turn Around 

her eyes
turn away
hush
shove your
mouth in the
pillow darling 
suffocate
surrending sway
the rear view
such a sight
to capture 
to use

(2)

Murmuring

tide
ebbing
sea
sullen
warring
cu*t
cunning
siren’s scream

(3)

Slanted

tilted
edging
bitch
that
she
be…

by mourning…

There’s only 
one other 
that knows
she tells her 
nearly everything
And she couldn’t 
not tell her of you

(by this loss, by mourning)

She knows 
saw her pain
Her ache
agony
but She wiped it away
because if She feels for you

Thinks about you

relives those few
precious moments?

…She can’t breathe
and her heart…

let’s not talk
about the state
of it…

(Decimated,Devastated,Destroyed)