sweet death of a rose…


May death be sweet
like that of a dying rose
past her prime
when molecular structure is chaos
and her heart only knows
to fold and shut in

each petal breaks apart from stem
her last vein severed
though her fragrance lingers
her perfume long lay breathing

shall you watch her 
release her frame
this life inside her aching 
to sustain her worth
and to what moment 
does she finally herald
love, let go…
(don’t…not yet)

May her death be sweet
inhale her one last time
achingly embrace her
beautiful loss in goodbye 
yet do not not leave her 
unattended in her decay 
wondering the reason
of her bloom
 

felled from my lips…

there will be an end…
I’m uncertain with which means it is to happen

perhaps I’ll be 105
well beyond breathing expectation

I may still carry an ocean in my eyes but maybe they’ll reflect his sky

I won’t ever unknow him and my heart races surging with that truth

yet I may never ever truly know the movement of he…my heart already feels every ounce of that kind of empty

I probably won’t hear very well at that age as my ears are forever plugged into music…even now I write with live and intoxicating sounds flowing through me

I am fluid in uncertainty; the remains of hesitation line my lungs; these effects travel through time…I know I still feel this, what this is in the now; and so feel it then

squeezing every drop of he from me…I’m airless and deaf in the loud disclosure of quietness; even then when I’m 105 I will feel as now; alone…uncared for…exposed and unfurled, scented with don’t waste me

I dont know how to navigate this terrain, its foreign soil slipping through my fingers, and chokehold on my red dusted heart

tell me, should I turn to leave
jump from cliffs
slide into the crevasse
disappear into a dark lake bottom
never speak of you again

I can’t undo you
too late 
I am 105, carried in my last breaths I whisper of now, of you, your every obscured words puzzled, nuzzled in my pores 

I whisper of the ghosts in your writing…chanting your name

come here
show me, love 
let me practice the entirety of you
open to me
the sound of you…

falling until felled from my lips

of implications darling…

I have not found an hour
in which thoughts 
have not drift 
to the sun of you
burning my mind
heart aglow and fiery
lighted over the seconds collected
raining us in heaven’s gold
forgiveness and salvation in length 
lovers stretch far across the night
reflected in midnighted moons
when did I realize that expanse of you
and this skin I’ve been wearing 
undesired
hiding the complexion of underneath 
salacious deep 
come shed me
to shed me of faded oceans
shed the old to reborn stars
understand this implication
of love existing
yet not in dreams 
rather persistent & real
let the measured 
dimensions of you
harbored in the place
before me
stay as is
beautiful framework 
of past lives left lived…
enter as otherworldly 
a bold unknown
do not deny I beg 
nor falter love

in this ever of hours…

will you kiss me
come midnight
love all my years
let all my trivialities
melt away from the
heat of your mouth

will you want my sex
come 1:00 a.m.  
taste rained earth
thirst & take more 
our blend forming
a perfect universe

will you read me passionately
come 3:00 a.m.
as it demands we meet often
under the stars and moolight
we never more than a few pages
away inside of our minds

will you wrap to my form
come 4:00 a.m.
contented with our rhythm and sound; the ease of breathing together 
to end & begin infinitely

will you wake me 
at 5:00 a.m.
to repeat our beckoning ache
once is never enough; 
nor is forever 

will you dream of me
come 6:00 a.m.
travel back a thousand years
to once again encounter me;
remember

or will you come
the ever of hours
release the tourniquet 
stay your distance
watch me bleed afar
until I am no more
your vision
no more your desire
if ever I was; am

in flight…no turning back; we breathe together into thin air

So often I write with music playing in my ear. Usually its the melody that draws words from me and they find their way up out from my depth… Yet this time the words came before music…from the thin fissure that is opening inside me, a promising light slipping through the crack. It feels as something reminescent of long ago, a timelessness coming clean.
An unfolding that speaks of forever. This that I feel, is not in my head…rather of something deeper.  And so I wrote this and then remembered a song; its melody appropriate for my poem and of course the words befitting. I heard this song (one below) a long while ago. I’ve even written other poems as it played in the background. This time it just speaks to me in a positive light…and it feels like I’m flying 😉

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feathered
I began to stretch
limbs groaned
releasing disease
of dormancy
dusting off stagnation
fingers smoothed
every stroke brushed back
ruffled roughness

outstretched and opened 
your breath lifts me
above love’s  grave
one glance
     ~he found me surrounded in midnight~
one dare
     ~just come know me~
one word whispered
      ~yes~

…and we took to flight

fabled pain & romance… 

this leave of time
grieves 
substantial slip
takes absence  
floats away
pain is nothing 
and everything i know
of that my bones understand
deep marrow never exists
without ache
neither do lips for breath
or pressing need
I will fade from now on
having known his precision cut
art his words carve
edging my skin
a secret only my fingertips recognize
silent history is left to wind
trees whisper fables
singing so softly of romance
intimacy in the sound
waiting for his alternative heart
perhaps fear is taking hold 
watching it all dissipate
climax of unwritten history…

and my heart
left grasping 
his evaporation

my mixed mood…want, neverland, cling, dark, love, ocean, I’ll be ok

There are moments
when you’re at unrest 
And you can’t quite 
make sense of your mood
it’s sporadic and changes
drastically 
quickly
ebb and flow 
by the minute 
what do you do though
In that sea of moody blue
how do you keep from
sinking under
too deep
you don’t
you just wait
float to maintain
a disrupted balance 
until you finish riding the wave 
until you once again
are aligned
righted and ready to swim
forward towards shore
sometimes you’re are stilled
in uncharted waters
by something unknown
gripped by uncertainty
so you just breathe
take in the flow of the moment 
and wait for the tide to change
in your favor

beautiful sky…

I gaze at you
and I am overcome
with this unknown love
uncertain of this intense emotion
as if I fade into you
blend
sweetly collapse under your skin
oh beautiful sky
yes…you in your entirety of blue
please
I plead
leave me there
lying under
the breath of you