a cosmic understanding… 

I am
awakened and parched
softer
sweeter
behind closed moments
dreaming in your sunlight
dangling from leaves
the wind against my skin
reminiscent
of your distant sound
I think of you there
in the brilliance
of stained glass & candlelight
like holy fire
brushed aagainst my lips
Mingled with my breath
Come burn an eternity between my thighs
Is there any measure
I can bring you
what can I do for you
my beautiful love
shall I ever convince you
here inside this reservoir of me
You are seeds rooted
beautifully

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a wildness honing…

I have lived a lifetime in this last year. I am aged and I am split into versions of me. I’m letting go of the old to clear way for the new, yet I have deep ties to the older version of me that I won’t…can’t unthether.  Not that anyone is asking or expecting me to. Some things I must hold and carry with me, which I am gloriously happy to do so.

The next steps I take are a sensitive matter…this path requiring a delicate balance. I must trust my ability, spread love farther, deeper than ever I’ve chance. I am willing! I am willing to experience life rather than be in it. To fling wide my heart and paint my passion, rest and withdraw when necessary, ride the waves of emotions, trust my inner-knowing and LOVE from the deepest depths within me. I am willing to live, never having not love with grace and beauty,

This is a pivotal point, a portent, a masterpiece emerging, a wildness honing…

the Red Cardinal and the Blue Jay…

they held time

bending air

if only a few seconds

hovering

the length of their wingspan

chest to chest

wide open and roaring

as if the twisting of flames

to lay claim their truth

an undeniable totem

so beautiful a rare moment…

 and suddenly there we were

you and I

suspended and stilled

secret and lies

truth and clarity

a spiritual silence 

 a warring awakening

…nothing and everything

I have really stepped away from writing for quite sometime now. It’s not an intentional thing, rather I just found myself distant from my writing self. Perhaps I created these heavy barriers!  My fears spoke a little while back, I was paralyzed for a few minutes in the space of a few minutes, and that fear ultimately pushed me into a silence I no longer care to fucking endure. Of course there are more reasons I care not to reveal but let me say it is/has been a rough path I wander. I know now why I have gone this way…I do so for growth, truth, clarity, because it is a necessary process, the kind where towers collaspe, the truth of the weak foundation exposed, the kind where I welcome the shedding of old skin, ridding the dust that has settled inbetween the cracks of all the previous years. Despite the overwhlming ache and pain, in the deepest part of my soul, this shedding comes regardless. All these dark layers, the wastelands that are uncovered, they are the fuel for a beautiful propulsion through an opening in the veil. I gratefully, achefully, painfully, knee-deep and drowing, wade through it all. I don’t want to go back to the other side, the side faded of the truth of me. So I let the vapor overtake and permeate, the ghosts care not to stay here in this atmosphere. This valley I look out into and walk through is for the greatest reason and that greatest reason is always for LOVE…a love beyond the limitations of our human mind. It starts within! A deeper, slow growing seed, watered for longer than a millennia, or more, and often again and again!

The poem is not necessarily speaking of the field I have been in. And yet is so true to form in my writing. Multiple layers weaved through simple words as the humaness of me and the spiritual inner knowing of me soaks into and colors the pages. I never see it until later afte r the writing is down on the page.

This morning during my walk I realized how much I miss the poetess in me. I feel more beautiful, as if she is the only truth to me, but I know I am she and she is me! I am many parts of a whole…some parts lay stilled, far away, seperated from me/she (That is a longer story!)

Anyway, this morning during my walk I knew I needed to bring back my breath, open my heart again, break free from self-imposed chains of expectations that have failed to come true. So after my walk, when sharing space with my granddaugter and one of my beautiful daughters, we sat quiet as the music played. I was relaxed and at peace, content for the gentle moment. I could feel the energy building, the words daring to writhe to the surface. A hunger…a knowing

Music is a muse that manifests poetry from a deep place in me. I always feel I am reminisceing of earlier lifetimes when writing. Often I stare out the window and let the sound move through me. That is just the dancer in me…lost in the rythmn and it was in that moment, lost for a few seconds, that suddenly a flash of blue and red flew by my window. And there they were, the cardinal and the blue jay, stilled, as if time stopped or at least slowed, wings wide spread, chest to chest, a beautiful war, a beautiful dance…

And, so very reminiscent of the many shades and shapes of us, my love!

 

silence existing…

you are the silence

may I never breathe in any other noise

let us keep our place there

where we are the roar of waves

ageless ebb and flow

undeciphered by any other

locked on & intertwined

coded pieces of home

you are earth holding my water

 the expanse of air to my flame

searching no other

only you will understand

the drops of love existing

within this silence

 

 

 

a certain keeping…

why should she resist

resonating within her heart

he is risk luring her to leap

yet, hesitation borders the edge

where silence pulls her mind

want & ache propel her veins

dread is not her cloak

nor fear her religion

only he, a lighted sky; aflame

revolution of wildfire storms

as love touches the boundary of skin

beautiful scars lay permenant underneath

blood rushes

breath flows

earth consistenly shifts

sensuous years left spinning; still unknown

time an ever-revolving mystery

and our love…

a certain keeping

slipping us into the deep

we, a whisper away

 

 

 

Violence & Violet of my Veins…

I let it all fall away

this aged untruth

brittle & cracked 

little bits & pieces blow away

 in every gust of your air

why should I awaken at this time

surrounded 

in unexplainable phenomena 

is any reason necessary…

I must be unafraid

an opened heart

dreaming light

breathing ageless memories

and find you are

the violence and violet

 of my veins

 

unfolding of softness…

I caress the folds of a rose

velvet alive against my fingertips

my words could never describe

so delicately

fragrantly

of such beauty unfolding

 

and what of my lips

as they brush against the petals

does the  color transfer

are you witness to softness

tempted to stain

lingering breathless

waiting to remain

 

 

 

breath of life…

 

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*pic from bing images

There is this existence of you

entwined in rays of light

somehow in silence

in stillness

you linger

an unknown air

all encompassing

as if I have yet to be

yet to breathe 

until you…

 

 

home…

you are slivers of art

and sensuous parts

to my whole

silently I sweep fingers

over my heart

 feeling every temptuous beat

this breathing thing deepens

you hold ransom my lips

as I imagine

you will be found home

pressed against them