rough…

 

lines feathered and muted

rough art inside me anymore

uncertainty blankets my heart

I don’t really fucking care anymore (I try to convince myself)

running sounds sane

yet I won’t escape

I’ve tried to exhale

waiting to be delivered from

every thought and feeling…

yes

no

I feel

I don’t

I don’t fucking care (silence is convincing me)

leave

love

lie

wtf ever

 

 

 

 

 

cut…

it is moments as these

I am falling further away

felled pile of ruins

my chest caves and my heart unstiches itself

every stretch mark across my womb aches

a reminder of love carried

yet emptied is the state of me

when am I not failing

when will I become worthwhile

long is my life still to live

and far too long to be nothing beautifully measured

  only ever cut by everyone

deadly…

expectations;

rather you didn’t settle here

you only keep me far from abundance

my opened heart; understands

far beyond earthly limitations

deadly this mind;

3D prisoner

 

 

in the midst of resting…

There is something healing about stepping back, stepping away, looking in another direction, laying down the heavy baggage and resting. I suppose I am still in the midst of such a respite. It has been, and still is emotionally tumultous but I wouldn’t change a thing! I know it is for my greatest good. I recognize the synchronicities, feel the abundance welling within…I know it leads to everything good and just, and is divinely guided.

I’m not haunted. I’m no longer running from nor chasing ghosts. I’m setting them free! Yet, I will never forget the beauty of each shiver, every lick of the whip, every whisper of deeply held pain! I ask that it stays cleaved to me so that I might never forget, to remember, to understand what others go through, to give my experience and my pain a voice, and to say to those in similar territories…”I know!” “I understand!” “I feel you!””I see you!”

How can I explain this journey? The path only illuminated by faith! The details unbelievable…unexplainable! To tell my truth, this unfathomable truth will come if only I never resist. The words will come when they are ready. I know my heart is healing, and it is a living, breathing, beautiful entity to carry within my chest. And my soul? Oh my ancient beautiful soul…”I know!” “I understand!” “I feel you!” “I see you!”

 

I so beautifully mourn…

I sit here
in morning’s
graying light
orangy pinks
forget to dance
I’ve no absolution
in this dull light
or any other moment
and evident is ache
in my reticent breath
with pale palms
opened & offering
every pulse of my heart
every thought my mind carries
for he; you, my love
I so beautifully mourn…

my soul does wait



I changed it up slightly when I posted this to Instagram for day 1 of  #marchfalls… hosted by Matt and Ashley @fallspoetry

bare…

Somedays

I am are left without color

in stark contrast

slipping into dark

smoked lined eyes

nude my shade

touching pale lips

dimming light

shadows my confidant

I lay bare on hazy lines

dare not cross into your hours

with eyes full of confession

days into nights

fall afar

little bits of time

soak into the grain of wood

here I am

near you

felled silently

#novemberfalls #hazyday @breath_words @aseawords 
#handwritten #poetry #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig 
#poetryofinstagram #poetry #poeticsighs #smokeyeyes #nudelips #somedays #slient #spillingink #heartspiller

once upon a sleeper…

you opened my cocooned pod
I felt the ice melting
from my cryogenic sleep
raising my beats
from shunned to shine
I began to upcycle wasted tears
eyelashes coated with stardust 
I braved the idea of possibilites
conquered a black diamond run
one turn at time
I was felled darling
with black dove wings
trying to reach peace
atop your sky…

I don’t know now 
where you are…