once existing…

distance stars

where my heart lays in midnight

halcyon light so far off

once stealing my breath

where I fell

unknown and beating

once again

here I am

this faltering voice

laying haunted in silent dust

where erasure begins..

 I  existed

 founded

 loved once

 

 

cut…

it is moments as these

I am falling further away

felled pile of ruins

my chest caves and my heart unstiches itself

every stretch mark across my womb aches

a reminder of love carried

yet emptied is the state of me

when am I not failing

when will I become worthwhile

long is my life still to live

and far too long to be nothing beautifully measured

  only ever cut by everyone

deadly…

expectations;

rather you didn’t settle here

you only keep me far from abundance

my opened heart; understands

far beyond earthly limitations

deadly this mind;

3D prisoner

 

 

spread…

I was never anything

so murderous

until i slipped out of my clothes

gently fell each piece to the floor

bare and daring

I gave myself

over and again

again and again

whatever I was looking for

it never came

with pink lips and

breathless sighs

I was never anything

as murderous as me!

 

 

 

have you considered…

why do some take their tenderness away

like a magician disappearing an object (or a human)

its there and then it’s not

or at least the illusion of it first being there

I suppose there are varied reason

but the one that keeps coming to mind,

tenderness leaves because giving it

no longer serves the “self” purpose

no longer to gain from giving

Yes, I believe that in many instances

this tenderness/kindness disappearing act is necessary

to move beyond being stuck

or to open oneself for something better

or to walk away from a negative situation (such as abuse!!!)

but have you considered

what if the situation was that the other person or thing

needed more of your tenderness

kindness

time

what if the setting aside of the ego

for the sake of another

was truly the path needed taking

what if

just what if

the lesson was you had to give

a little bit more

or a little longer

to have not better

but rather have extraordinary

>>>>>>this is a hard line to consider<<<<<<

when to give nor not

stay or leave

especially when humans are so self-serving

self-preserving

rash

So yes, sometimes we must save ourselves

 

yet, sometimes the other person

needed us more

sometimes they needed our light