To purge is not for the weak. It knocks you on your ass and keeps you down. This one lasting longer then I care to endure. I don’t fully comprehend my struggle. My stagnancy. Or why I want to cut ties, move on, change my name, move far away, why I want to forget everything but it all seems to find a way to creep back in… all the unresolved things. Why don’t I plan for the future or get excited for it anymore? How can I feel everything and nothing all at once? Why did I even start or bother to try? Why am I so content and relieved when I am home, my doors shut tight, my head on my pillow? Why do I understand the need for human connection, human interaction yet build another layer of walls. How can I feel such resonance, feel such a truth when everything around me is contradictory?
Is this beginning or at its end? Or just me flatlining in the middle…
My heart is faint and so is everything beautiful
Poetry of M 